You took all my scattered pieces Held them in your hand and Loved my brokenness

You kissed every petal of this wilted flower 

Each kiss numbing the pain of the burdens I bore alone before our meeting 

Bringing me that much closer to wholeness 

Allowing a glimpse of peace in the middle of the chaos in my heart and head. 

You Breathe Christ into my spirit when I’ve lost my way, 

my direction 

my religion 

With you I find my myself 

and remember what it’s like to feel grounded, at home and at peace

It elevates me and frightens me all at once. 

You read me deeply

And understand me better than I understand myself 

When darkness finds me 

And attempts to take over

You are are my lantern 

In your presence doing nothing at all 

I’m fulfilled 

I find myself taking apart all the moments 

We’ve experienced and created together 

Rearranging them and putting them back together again 

And no matter what those moments still equate to perfection 

And spell an eternity 

Filled with both love and submission.

You are my calm 

My voice of reason 

You are my dreams mixed with reality 

Precious moments, gifts and sensations 

Everything I believed was not possible in one person 

Mixed with both confusion and frustration

And even moments of callous 

Yet , still there is nothing better than US

No one better than you. 

My safety 

My security 

My serenity 
Simply Everything is… 


On your Pillow 

I am simple 

I am plain and unworthy 

Of your attention 

But just tonight 

If favor allows 

Might you share with me 

The gifts that hide within your emotions 

Just tonight 

Let me share your pillow 

And I will reach up to the heavens 

Take hold of the moon 

And place it in your hands 

For just one night on your pillow 

I will gather up the oceans 

And place them in your backyard 

I’ll teach the birds to sing only for you 

For just one night to share with you your pillow 

I’ll give all I have to you 
August 5, 1998 


I will not cry over the shadows you left behind 

As you ran your distance from me 

I will instead gather up your shadows 

Place them in a box 

Close the lid tightly 

And place the precious box of shadows 

In the Dark 

I will never again gather you in my arms 

For you have hidden yourself from me.

So I must hide the shadows you left 

Next to me in my bed

That way I will have no reminders 

Left of you 

The scent you left behind has been 

Completely washed away 

That I might never again think of you. 

January 12, 1998 


In my time 

When I’m alone 

I still envision your face 

The face that is my sunlight 

Baby, you just might be my moon too 

With thoughts of you in my morning 

My heart wakes up to dance 

My love you are my pulse 

And every time I feel it 

Thoughts of you make me smile 

July 4, 1997 


This is how I feel every time I see you The look on my face 

The flushing of my cheeks 

My inability to stop smiling 

the desire to wrap my arms around you and hold on tight and just not let go 

To feel my head against your chest the feeling of your body against me just hold on tight and not let go 

this is how I feel when I see you
but instead of reacting 

I find myself sitting on my hands clutching my fist trying not to react the way that I want to

Suppressing the overwhelming need
to simply reach out and touch you
pull you close feel your warmth close to mine

The truth is I simply adore you 
Every curve of you 
The subtle boyish smile of you 

I try to hide it all 
But feel it in the warmth of my face
the minute I’m in your presence 

Yet, I hold Back 
So many things I want to say 
Desire to do 
I hold back simply from not wanting to lose you

The fear of moving to close only to push you away 
Hating and loving all at the same
The way you read me the moment I walk through the door 
And immediately call me on my demeanor and expression 

But somehow you missed in all of it 
In the way you build me up
When you tell me I should
never tone myself down 
Never dumb myself down for anyone 

The way you remind me in spite of my deepest insecurities 
I can do this 
But somehow in the way you read me 
The way you know me 
You missed how much I hold back
every time I see you 

Somehow you missed the way I light up when you’re near 
The way I feel simply when you stroke my hair 
Some how in all of it you missed that I completely adore everything about  


You missed that I love you 

A poem for my namesake 

When ever you see my loves Tell them it was all for them 

Tell them how much their mommy loves them 

Tell them they are queens 

Pure perfection to me 

Exactly the way they are

The way they are named 

The way God intended them to be 

When you see my loves

Remind them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made 

Tell them all the things I may have forgot to say 

Tell them they are my every heartbeat 

My every breath 

They alone make this pain worth it 

When you see them tell them I’m sorry I wasn’t better for them 

More for them 

More to them 

Tell them how I tried to be 

When you see them 

Hug them and tell them they are my namesake 

My proud legacy 

To stand tall in who they are because they are born of me.. 

Tell them I love them more than the heavens above or stars below 

More than the air I breathe 

Tell them they are everything to me 

The beginning of Goodbye

I’m sad because Although this is the beginning 

I know just how this ends 

So here in the beginning we must end

So many things done right 

But so many things said 

spell a future that’s disastrous 

I’ve been here before 

And to avoid bleeding 

It’s best to say goodbye just after 


My scars simply won’t allow me to survive this again 

Even now the pull and push of you leaves me far too conflicted 

Yet your eyes draw me in all the same 

Your touch beckons me to be close to you 

Then that one little word “friends” combined with the word “vulnerability” spells everything out for us 

And the sad thing is we just started 

But I have walked this path before 

Given my benefits to a friend only to be taken advantage of in the end 

A vicious game I simply won’t survive again 

So it’s best we say goodbye in the beginning